S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

Well, here we go, another review! These seem to be happening with a vague sense of regularity! Joy.

My benefactor Adam said he wasn't sure how I'd react to this one since "it depended on if I liked kid characters or not", which I am neither for or against...if they're written well. And don't have annoying voices. And aren't irritating Mary Sues. I haven't watched any of this episode yet. Here we go...

What I Liked

Okay, the teacher is explaining cutie marks, and her lesson's visual aides include a photo of her all 1980's and shit. It would have been really, REALLY funny if they had drawn her in Gen 1 style. 

 I like that Applebloom is smart enough to connect the dots that her family's trait might invoke her cutie mark. How is she smarter than Twilight Sparkle, HOW?!

Okay, tone it down, Applebloom-- you're treading into the obnoxious end of the spectrum. On the other hand, a male pony! I think that brings the total up to 7 or something so far if you count the Pegasusmons. 

The currency is "Bits"? Does this take place in the Toran Republic? 

Applejack is in full "Cool Big Sis" mode...still the favorite on this blog.

Another male pony! Holy shit, it's like the producers noticed the staggeringly disproportionate gender ratio in the show's supporting cast or something. 

RAINBOW DASH GIVING A SHIT ABOUT HOW SOMEONE ELSE FEELS WHAT SORCERY IS THIS

Ponyville has a dojo? What the fuck are pony martial arts, exactl-- OMG THE "DEEP TAOIST SYMBOLISM" IS IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

Just what the fuck kind of cupcakes are these meant to be?

GODDAMN MUSICAL NUMBE-- Oh, fuck it, I'll let it slide, since it's meant to make Applebloom feel better, and thus justified in-universe. 

Applebloom is in fact terrible at making cupcakes. Heh. 

HA! Pinkie Pie looks like she's eating little piles of dried poo. 

dat face tho, 'cause them cupcakes is doo-doo

Pinkie Pie, did you REALLY just put frosting on them nasty ass cupcakes and sell them? I swear...

IT'S SNAILS! CONTINUITY! BLESS THIS EPISODE!

Okay, I don't know who these two are, but THANK GOD someone called that uppity-cunt out. 

LAUGH AT THEM, EVERYONE! LAUGH

 

Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo...you're cool. Don't fuck it up. 

Cutie Mark Crusaders, eh? Not sure if I approve of this clubhouse mentality...the oppressed tend to become the oppressed.  On the other hand this is a show about silly-ass candy-colored ponies, so meh. 

What I Hated 

The realization that even though I don't know a single character's name in this opening shot besides Applebloom, I am certain a Google Image search of their names will be followed with "r34". That pan across cutie marks is a gif being fapped to someone RIGHT NOW. *shudders*

The teacher mentions that males and females get cutie marks, but WHERE ARE THE BOYS IN THIS CLASS?! 

I haven't even learned this bitch's name on the right yet, but I hate her. If she was in the pony version of Carrie she'd be firing tampons with a sling shot. She also proves that everyone in this universe with a tiara is kind of an asshole. Lookin' at you, Princess Troll-estia. 

I hope your Cute-ceañera ends with a one way trip to a glue factory. Take your silver-spoon marked lackey with you, you both suck. 

...Applebloom's friend Twist is going to get a peppermint stick or candy cane cutie mark before she does, isn't she?

FUCKING CALLED IT SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

Please God, let your smug ass get called out in the 3rd act in the most brutal way possible, you obnoxious little shit. 

The manes make me think they're males, but the eyelashes make me wonder if they're butch lesbian stereotypes...WHICH IS IT?!

Is it just me, or in an episode FULL of gorgeous backgrounds, this one in particular looks really, really shoddy?

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET TO THE PARTY YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO WHAT A CRAP TRANSITION--wait, okay, so it's in the bakery? HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE HER BIG-ASS MESS GETTING CLEANED UP AND DECORATIONS BEING STREWN ABOUT YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO LEAVE FUUUUUUUUUUUU

Eww, this nasty-ass berry-booty hoe is drinking right out of the punch bowl. GROSS. 

Goddamnit Applejack...

Their names are Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara? CLEVER. *rolls eyes* And they couldn't have established this earlier? It's so much easier to curse someone when you know their name...I wonder if their cutie marks would change if they realized it was a sign proclaiming what a vorpal-twats they are.

So did Princess Celestia get a "True Rune" or something? I kind of want them to do more with this cutie mark thing, but they probably won't-- just look at the Elements of Harmony for God's sake. :/

Final Thoughts

This episode was, in my opinion, and get this-- actually good. GOOD! There were plenty of great character moments, gags, the song wasn't annoying as fuck, and the animation and (most) backgrounds looked damn fine. DAMN FINE! I pray that it is not flotsam and jetsam drifting atop a sea of mediocrity.

I especially liked that Rainbow Dash was shown being considerate, she needed that moment. I kinda wished Rarity had a segment since most of her latest development made her seem kind of stuck up, but since this whole "CMC" cutie mark thing appears to be an ongoing arc, she might show up in a later episode.

Please, please let Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon never come back.

See you next time for Fall Weather Friends!

-Apathy Pony