S01 E14: "Suited For Success"

S01 E14: Suited For Success

RARITY EPISODE ALERT! RARITY EPISODE ALERT!RARITY EPISODE ALERT!

It's about fucking time! It's like the show knew in advance about all the bitching I just did in the 13th episode update. I'm going to be experimenting with the format again-- I'm going to include timestamps so it's a little more clear about when in the episode I had a comment or whatever. This may be annoying! And if so?

t o o b a d

What I Liked

00:08 I like this drawing Rarity did. I knew she had something of an artistic streak since she's a fashion designer and whatnot, and drawing is part of that, but it's still nice to see. I hope she makes other pieces in the future that aren't related to her clothing designs. 

00:16 Of course Rarity has a cat. Of course she does.

00:45 Rarity, your cat  hates you so much and you don't even know. Also, glasses? That was unexpected-- and red doesn't suit her at all. >_>

01:45 OH RARITY IS TRYING TO CONCENTRATE LET'S KEEP TALKING AND DISTRACTING THE FUCK OUT OF HER SHE WON'T MIND

02:06 OH MY GOD CONTINUITY! They mentioned the Grand Galloping Gala...wait has it been a year in-universe already? 

03:24 IDEA HALO

03:54 Rarity is going to burn herself out trying to make all these fucking dresses, isn't she? 

04:31 DAT FACE THO

When are they going to name this friggin' cat?

6:11 Okay, these dresses are actually pretty fucking cool looking! I'll be interested to see how they look on their respective owners.

07:36 Applejack, your status as best pony is hereby terminated. Rarity is now Best Pony. Anybody that can put up with this level of bullshit and offer to go back to design and make more dresses for free deserves top spot.

07:43 As of now, Fluttershy is exempt from the tirade below by being gracious enough to accept the dress as is, which looks fine. 

08:07 Poor Rarity...and that cat is not giving one single fuck, lol

08:12 Damn, you know she workin' hard when her hair ain't on point. 

09:17 Okay, on one hand, Fluttershy totally put Rarity on blast about her revised dress, but she, like, aggressively tried to spare her feelings, so I ain't gonna hate. 

11:53 Okay, so that cat's name is Opal, got it. I bet Rarity's own dress isn't even going to be done on time 'cause she too busy stressing herself out over these other ponies' ratchet-ass shit-dresses. Even worse, Rarity knows they look like crap, so you can bet the others are going to love them. Ugh...

 12:08 omfg, we ain't even seen these dresses yes and they got Opal hissin' at 'em an' shit

12:14 Spike you better do some amazing-ass shit the next time you show up, because Opal is gunning for your spot as favorite supporting character, and she is winning. Even a cat who may not have the same level of sentience as ponies knows these dresses are booty butt-cheeks.

12:46 Oh my God. Oh my FUCKING GOD SPIKE WHY DID YOU DO THAT NOW HOITY TOITY IS GONNA SEE THESE WHACK-ASS UGLY DRESSES AND THINK THEY'RE RARITY'S DESIGNS, OMG THAT POOR PONY IS GOING TO DIE OF SHAME

(or he'll love them as some kind of twist, but I really want to be surprised for once)

12:56 look, she's mortified 'cause she knows what's up

13:09 Just wanted to say the backgrounds are once again gorgeous after that bullshit we got in Fall Weather Friends. 

13:20 Don't know why Kanye West was the first thing to come to mind when I saw Hoity Toity, but it was. 

14:15 They are totally milking this reveal and I don't even mind. 

14:18 This. This? THIS?! THIS IS WHAT YOU PONIES WANTED INSTEAD OF THOSE GORGEOUSLY DESIGNED DRESSES IN ACT 1

THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

On the other hand, Rarity's logo is pretty nice looking.

14:57 AND HE HATES THEM! Thank you show, for subverting my expectations. KEEP DOING THAT

15:01  "These amateurish designs look like a piled on mish-mash of everything but the kitchen sink!"

And then Rarity tries to slide a kitchen sink behind a curtain on the low. That shouldn't have been funny.

BUT IT WAS HAHAHA

15:23 :Spike, I know you mean well, and that's fine, BUT  PLEASE SHUT YOUR GODDAMN MOUTH OH GOD POOR RARITY

15:36  OH NOW YOU REALIZED YOU HAVE TERRIBLE FUCKING TASTE TOO BAD IT CAME AFTER YOU HUMILIATED YOUR FRIEND WITH YOUR SELFISH BULLSHIT WAY TO GO

16:17  Rarity, you over-dramatic as hell right now, but you totally earned it. 

16:40 

AJ: "Well we can't leave Rarity like this!"

PP: "She'll become a crazy cat lady!"

TS: "She only has one cat."

PP: "Give her time..."

WHY CAN'T THE SHOW ALWAYS BE THIS AMUSING?! PLEASE GOD LET IT BECOME THIS AMUSING AND STAY AS SUCH FOR THE REST OF THE SERIES

What I Hated

03:15 HERE COMES RAINBOW DASH TO FUCK EVERYTHING UP AGAIN, God does she ever not cause property damage in her appearances? I don't care enough to go back and look, so I'm going to assume yes. 

04:27 HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH ANOTHER GODDAMN SONG-- meh, at least she's singing to herself, that's a normal thing to do when working to pass the time.

BUT I DON'T LIKE IT ANYWAY

LISTEN TO ME SING ALL THE THINGS GOING ON IN THIS MONTAGE THAT WAS ESTABLISHED IN THE PREVIOUS SCENE

SHUT UP

07:20 ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? This is so egregious that it made me use all caps, bold, and italics. Not what you expected? Why didn't you give her more input if you wanted something specific?! And of course Rainbow Dash is completely ungrateful. FUCK YOU ALL.

I think they look good. AND MINE IS THE ONLY OPINION THAT MATTERS

EVER

09:27 Here go Twilight Sparkle, being obnoxious as FUCK about all her demands. Seriously, Rarity, if you told them all to go fuck themselves, nobody would mind. 

10:16  I would not be singing all this shit Rarity is, I would be screaming it incoherently while magikinetically brandishing a pair of sewing scissors towards the lot of them.

11:14  "It needs to be 20% 'cooler'" SHUT THE FUCK UP RAINBOW DASH CLIENTS LIKE YOU ARE THE WORST

20:30  So an apology and a new fashion show for Hoity Toity later and the status quo is restored!

Yay.

But for reals, all of this could have been avoided if you had JUST WORN THE ORIGINAL DESIGNS IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE

Final Thoughts

I know I used a lot of ALL CAPS in this review, and, well, I don't feel bad about that at all. BUT! I will say that this is by fucking far the best episode of Season 1 up to this point. If the series can keep up this level of quality then I'd consider that quite the achievement, to say nothing of actually improving further. Fingers crossed, for reals. Oh, and Rarity is new best pony, the other five can choke.

See you next time for Feeling Pinky Keen!

- Apathy Pony