Thursday, April 18, 2013

S01 EP03: "The Ticket Master"

S01 EP03: "The Ticket Master"

Well, due to some unexpected life bullshit, this post has been delayed! And it'll be even shorter than the last one because I've decided to scrap the episode recaps unless I'm doing them in the style of the first review. I mean let's face it, my audience is more than likely entirely made up of Bronies, so they should know all this stuff already. For the sake of anyone who might happen to not be a Brony, I will include a link to an episode recap on the MLP: FiM Wikia. As for my thoughts on this episode...well, you'll have to read on for the details, because holy shit, did some of my previous opinions change.

And now, on with the review!

Episode Recap

From the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Wikia Entry:

The Ticket Master is the third episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, season one. In this episode, Twilight Sparkle receives two tickets from Princess Celestia to the Grand Galloping Gala, an exclusive event hosted by Princess Celestia herself. This leads to arguments among ApplejackRainbow DashPinkie PieRarity andFluttershy, who all want to go with Twilight's extra ticket."

What I Liked

*The episode opens with Twilight Sparkle assisting Applejack with the apple harvest, so she gets bonus points for helping out my favorite character. She seems to be a lot more open and personable than she was in the pilot just one episode later, and it's a huge improvement. 

*Spike's attempts to be low-key and pretend not to give a shit about the Grand Galloping Gala are adorable, and I'm assuming are probably a good approximation of the first stage of transforming into a Brony. 

*I like that Rarity has a logo, and it looks just like her. Sadly, that's about as close to character development as she's gonna get in this episode other than being somewhat boy-crazy.

*Fluttershy of all ponies has a minion. Minions, actually, if you count the birds that were helping to clean the library for Twilight Sparkle. If the show was darker, it wouldn't surprise me at all if she had bodies buried somewhere. 

*I liked...Pinkie Pie? The fuck? Because seriously, she was waaaaaaay less annoying in this episode than she was in the pilot. All I wanted was for her to calm the hell down and stop talking like she's trying to sell Micro Machines toys...and she did! If she came off like this when her character debuted, I might have liked her from the start. Even her song didn't irritate me, which given my antagonistic stance on musicals is rather surprising. If she can keep this up, then I may actually come to have more of an appreciation for Pinkie Pie. 

Please God, Pinkie Pie, don't go and fuck this up like...

What I Hated

Rainbow. Fucking. Dash. I mean goddamn, did she not suddenly  turn into just...the biggest, most self-centered bitch or what? I have to actively remind myself that she saved Twilight Sparkle's life in the pilot to keep myself from completely despising her in this episode. If I am to believe what I've heard about season 2, this is only going to get worse and Pinkie Pie won't have to fill the slot of The Hated One.

What The Fuck

*Why the fuck did this apple have a reflection that looked like it came through a window? I hate that shit, it's just so friggin' distracting when there's no windows around to cause that effect. Yes, it's a nitpick. I pick nits! And you know what?

*Woah, what the hell happened to Sweet Apple Acres? It can't have been that long between the pilot and this episode, so why's the place look like it's been falling apart when before it looked closer to pony Eden?

Sweet Apple Acres' insurance didn't cover instances of "plot convenience". 
* So did they use up the animation budget on this episode or was Rarity's fantasy sequence like that as a stylistic choice? Because if it's the former, I can see why they chose her's to squelch on the dynamic animation. 

* Princess Celestia should change her goddamn name to Eris. I bet she has a tree of golden apples tucked away somewhere in that castle, which she stares at and thinks to herself:

It's really hard not to come to this conclusion given the entire plot of the episode rests on the fact that Celestia, a seemingly god-like and nigh omnipotent being should be well-fuckin'-aware that Twilight Sparkle had 5 close friends in Ponyville and only sent one ticket. Then when Twilight returns them because they detonated a drama bomb, Celestia sends 4 more like it's no big deal. She even sent Spike one the instant after he felt sad about not getting one himself when he was completely alone. 

Bitch be trollin', yo. 

What I Think Of The Characters

Twilight Sparkle: I'm glad to see that she's remained likable since the pilot ended. Also, she can teleport, so that's pretty cool too. 

Applejack: Still chill as fuck, and had the best reason to want to go to the Grand Galloping Gala. She remains my favorite.

Rainbow Dash: It seems that her decency is way, waaaaaaaay the fuck deep down, because Rainbow Dash came off selfish as hell in this episode, super off-putting. 

Rarity: Same as always. We need a damn Rarity episode, stat, because her character is going nowhere.  

Fluttershy: Shown to be capable of mild sociopathy by joining in on trying to manipulate Twilight Sparkle with favors. I like her more now. 

Pinkie Pie: She shut the fuck up! This makes me happy, and I don't hate Pinkie Pie...for now. 

Closing Thoughts

Okay, so this episode was pretty good as a stand alone. Although I do still wish that they had kept the magical girl elements in this show, this episode proved that "Lesson of the Week" stories can and do work for the series. If My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic can maintain this level of quality, I will continue to not have to cringe every week when it comes time to do these reviews. 

Here's to hoping that the show can continue it's streak of entertaining episodes! See you next time!

-Apathy Pony

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

S01 EP02: "Friendship is Magic, part 2"

S01 EP02: "Friendship is Magic, part 2"

See Twilight Sparkle's face up there? IT HAUNTS MY FUCKING DREAMS. Welcome to my review of the second part of the pilot to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! I'm going to let you know right off the bat that I'm going to be trying a new format for the reviews, starting with this one. As much fun as I had writing the first one in a style, it was incredibly time consuming and I'd like to actually get these things out regularly, you know? Maybe I'll do them like that for episodes I particularly enjoyed, and if that is indeed the case, expect them to be sporadic.

Anyway, on with the review!

Plot Summary

Following the events of the last episode, Nightmare Moon shrouds Equestria in eternal darkness and escapes into the night. The ponies try to stop her from getting away, but fail. Twilight Sparkle is confronted by Rainbow Dash due to her knowledge of Nightmare Moon's return, but the others defend Twilight and ask her for details about how to stop Nightmare Moon. Once they've found the information they need about the Elements of Harmony, the six ponies set off towards the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters in the Everfree Forest. 

This caption is dedicated to the memories of the brave Peganuccis who attempted to stop Nightmare Moon. They aren't dead, but I like to think they'd have given the ultimate sacrifice anyway.

On their way through the forest, Each of the ponies display an attribute aligned with the Elements of Harmony as they overcome obstacles sent by Nightmare Moon to prevent them from reaching the Elements. AppleJack displays Honesty when she assures Twilight Sparkle that she needs to let go and will be caught after Twilight is hanging off the edge of a cliff. Fluttershy embodies Kindness when she removes a thorn from the paw of an attacking Manticore.

Pinkie Pie manifests the Element of Laughter when she convinces the other ponies to laugh in the face of fear while travelling through a scary looking forest. Rarity shows Generosity when she gives up a part of her tail to restore the mangled mustache of a  river serpent. And finally, Rainbow Dash reveals Loyalty when she decides not to betray her friends to become the captain of the Shadowbolts, who are an illusion sent by Nightmare Moon. 

At last, the ponies make it to the castle, where inside they find stones representing 5 of the 6 Elements of Harmony. According to the book, it says that the 6th element will appear when the other five are ignited with a "spark". Twilight tells the others she's going to try something and the others leave to give her some distance in order to concentrate. Shortly after, Nightmare Moon appears and whisks Twilight away to another part of the castle. Nightmare Moon then smashes the Element stones, declaring victory.

"They're called Pony Thread Simulators, and they describe what happens to bad ponies when they die!"

Just as all seems lost, the other ponies appear to aid Twilight, which causes her to realize that she has formed genuine friendships with them all. This acts as the spark needed to activate the Elements of Harmony, which manifest as jewels resembling each of the ponies' Cutie Marks. The six ponies use the Elements of Harmony to defeat Nightmare Moon, which reduces her to the form of a young Alicorn. Princess Celestia is freed and reveals that she is Nightmare Moon's sister, and with some coaxing, encourages her sister to reconcile their differences and rule Equestria together once again. Pinkie Pie declares that this is worthy of celebration and throws a party in their honor.

Having saved the day, Twilight Sparkle feels that her victory is bittersweet-- Nightmare Moon has been stopped and daytime is restored, but now she has to return to Canterlot after having finally learned the joys of friendship. Princess Celestia takes note of this and declares that Twilight's new mission is to continue her research on the magic of friendship in Ponyville. The six ponies are overjoyed as the episode ends and credits roll.

What I liked

Pictured: Twilight Sparkle, giving a shit about something that isn't research or herself for once. 

This particular moment where Twilight tucks Spike into bed did more to endear Twilight Sparkle to me than anything in the last one. I think they really should have put this into the first part of the pilot to show that she wasn't a total bitch, but maybe that's just me. At least it's been shown that Twilight actually does care for Spike on some level and that he isn't just some lackey/mailman she keeps around like her own personal Igor. 

"It was under E!"

- Pinkie Pie,  explaining to Princess Celestia's top student Twilight Sparkle on how to use a goddamn library

Pinkie Pie showing Twilight Sparkle where to find the book on the Elements of Harmony is one of the few moments in this series to get me to chuckle thus far. Who would have thought that Pinkie Pie could actually do something besides irritate the fuck out of me? A few more moments like this, and I may find her to be somewhat tolerable. Tragically, I have a feeling they will be hard to come by. 

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic -- The children's cartoon that considers that you might have had to take a piss before the commercial break. 

Another moment that got a chuckle out of me was when Twilight got irritated with Rainbow Dash for describing the events of what happened before the commercial break...because they had just happened. If this meta-humor is a consistent part of the show, then I can at least see partially why the fans are as enamored with this show as they are.

It's like someone threw nightmares into a blender and made the resulting mess adorable. 

I just like the Manticore because it's proof that there are potentially dangerous creatures in this world. I'll be disappointed if we don't get a cute little Beholder later on.

"I watch you while you sleep."
And the show gets even better by mocking musicals. I FUCKING HATE MUSICALS. well, unless they're fucked up ones, like the South Park movie, or Sweeny Todd. But the primary reason I hate them is because the cast breaks into song and it completely takes me out of the story when it happens, and this is blatantly lampshaded by everyone who isn't Pinkie Pie.

What I Hated

Seven seconds left before it's time to roll credits and Pinkie Pie managed to squander nearly all the goodwill she built up in this episode by managing to not shut. The fuck. UP.

Well, there's always next week, I guess.

What the Fuck

Okay, confession time! I was told by Adam that in the pre-production stage, MLP was planned to have a Magical Girl vibe to the story, and Hasbro nixed it because they wanted a show with more stand-alone episodes. If they had gone with Lauren Faust's original idea, I have to admit, I'd probably have made more of an effort to watch this show.

 I grew up watching Magic Knight Rayearth on VHS and Sailor Moon before catching the bus to school in the mid 1990's, and I loved the show when monsters were being fought-- I could take or leave the melodrama and crying, honestly. MLP seems like it could have made the non-combat parts more interesting/entertaining with some time, but in the end, the video below is as close as we're going to get to a pony magical girl show, and that's terrible.

What I Think of the Main Characters 

Twilight Sparkle: Much improved from the pilot. I hope she continues down this path and doesn't devolve back into a self-involved semi-misanthrope. 

Applejack: Bonus points for telling Rainbow Dash to calm her tits when she thought Twilight was a spy. Still my favorite, although now it isn't merely due to slim pickings.

Rainbow Dash: Still kind of a jerk, but a decent pony deep down. I like her a little more.

Rarity: About the same, really. She needs more to do besides be a less abrasive version of Cordelia from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 

Fluttershy: Improved by being given something to do by subduing the Manticore. Acceptable. 

Pinkie Pie: Shut the fuck up, please. I'd like to at least not hate you, but you don't make it easy. 
Please shut the fuck up. 

Closing Thoughts

Well that was an improvement! The characters (with one glaring personal exception) are actually likable! I'm relieved, because I was worried I was going to have to go through 65 episodes of liking the other characters simply for not being Pinkie Pie. 

Now that the pilot is out of the way, I'll be seeing what becomes of the show now that the world and it's inhabitants are established and the most interesting concept of the show to me has been shelved. 

Please, God, let it be watchable. 

Whatever. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this blog, share it with your fellow MLP fans and subscribe! See you next week!

- Apathy Pony

Thursday, April 4, 2013

S01 EP01: "Friendship is Magic, part 1"

S01 EP01: "Friendship is Magic, part 1"

See Twilight Sparkle's face up there? That's my fuckin' face right now. It's everything behind the phrase "Goddamn it", condensed and contorted into a facial expression that barely construes the level of annoyance and resistance felt. We don't want this to be happening to us; her divinely mandated relocation to Ponyville, and my having to review this show. Our mutual butthurt is reactionary and a defense mechanism in the face of change, but that's where similarities end. 

Over the course of the next two episodes, Twilight Sparkle will obviously probably learn the value of friendship and then use it to unite with her new pals to curb-stomp a misunderstood alicorn with rainbow lasers and shit. Me, I just don't want to like this show beyond the point of "It's a'ight", which is my current opinion. I like that opinion. I spent a lot of time forming it, and you can't make me change it, Lauren Faust! My skepticism can't shoot lasers! It's not fair!


Okay, so actually watching the episode now. 

We open with "Once upon a time," followed by what I'm assuming is the text of the most condescending history book on Equestria ever written. Apparently there were two all powerful alicorn sisters. Alicorns are unicorns and...pegasuses? Pegasi? I'm just asking for some asshole to correct this-- whatever, it's those two things mixed together. Anyway, there were two sisters, one for day and the other for night. 


Things were chill as motherfucker until the younger night sister realized her nighttime was going completely unappreciated, because fuck circadian rhythms, ecosystems and the primal instinctual terror of what lurks in the darkness. She got fed up with this survival instinct bullshit, turned into Nightmare Moon (Make Up!) and said "Fuck it! Nighttime forever."

The elder daytime sister was having none of the night sister's genocidal tantrum, so she took off her earrings, removed her high heels and brandished The Elements of Harmony, six powerful gems which will in no way be relevant to the overall plot of the show. 

Seriously, I think they only bust out these fuckers, like, twice or something over the first two seasons.

Using the Elements of Harmony, the elder sister rainbowed the living shit outta Nightmare Moon, which sealed her away inside of the actual moon. In retrospect it kinda makes the younger sister's new name seem like a fucked-up tempting of fate in a way.

Asking for it.

Having sealed away her only living relative without even considering that the sisters could have just traded duties every other day or something, the elder sister took control of both day and night. 

"Relax y'all, I got this shit on lock."

Things became awesome once again, and nobody even thought to pitch the benefits of nighttime to the lesser ponies, condemning them to  a millennium of fear and ignorance.

Seriously, It's not that hard. 

The opening narration fades from one voice to another. The new voice belongs to our main character, Twilight Sparkle, who is reading all about the brutal history (mythology?) of her people.

"...Begat Twilight who then begat Twilight Twinkle...oh, gross! Illustrations."

Or her kind, I should say, since they use the phrase "Everypony" on this show for some reason. I never liked that kind of thing, it always seemed really smurfing gratuitous to me. But yeah, Twilight Sparkle ominously dwells on how familiar The Elements of Harmony are sounding and where she's heard of them before, and then it's time for the intro sequence.

It's upbeat, catchy and is the the aural equivalent of having xenomorph eggs laid in your chest cavity, because it makes you want to sing along against your will. Watch at your own risk.

It's quickly established that Twilight Sparkle will blow off a good time with her peers to pour over old books, ignoring the friendly waves of passerby and thoughtlessly trampling her assistant Spike. Not long after that we find out that Twilight Sparkle turns out to be that guy, you know the one. She's all freaked out about the inevitable return of Nightmare Moon, because it's been 1,000 years since the events of the opening narration happened. I'm guessing some of the books she's obsessed with are old RPG strategy guides. Twilight Sparkle gets all riled up about the return of pony Anti-Christ and decides to tell Princess Celestia via letter, which she dictates to the vocabulary-challenged Spike instead of using her horn's telekinesis power to write it herself.

Anti-social, thoughtless, lazy, AND abusive. Ladies and gentlemen, our heroine

The letter is written and then delivered to Princess Celestia with a hint of skepticism by Spike via dragon's breath, because magic. Twilight Sparkle barely has enough time to savor her smug self-righteousness when the letter gets a reply, thankfully not coming out of Spike's other end. Not even two sentences into the letter, Spike reads to Twilight Sparkle that Princess Celestia wants her to stop reading so friggin' much. A moment later and we see Spike and Twilight headed to Ponyville on a golden chariot pulled by two pegasusites. Spike continues to read the letter to Twilight, saying that she has been put in charge of the Summer Sun Celebration which is being held in Ponyville this year, and that she has to make some goddamn friends. Twilight Sparkle, naturally, is thrilled by the idea of this.

"Don't be like that, Twilight! This'll totally be lots of watch."

"...Fuck off, Spike."

Spike tries to console Twilight by saying that they've been given lodgings in a library. Twilight Sparkle immediately plans to use this as a means to verify her insane theory once she's done checking on the festival and go back to ignoring the layponies.

...God-Smurf it, they've got me doing it. FUCK

The two of them come in for a landing as Twilight dismisses Spike,  who reiterated that Princess Celestia also wanted her to make friends. As they disembark, Twilight thanks the two pegasusinos, calling them "sirs". They don't actually speak, instead they make pony sounds. This probably doesn't mean anything, but I'm going to assume that it's another sign that Equestria is a racist, sexist matriarchy, because lol.

Spike implores Twilight to give the whole thing a chance once more as a pink pony approaches them. When Twilight decides to give this whole friendship thing a genuine try and introduce herself, the pink pony gasps dramatically and runs off without another word.

"...The fuck was that about?"

Annoyed and discouraged respectively, Twilight and Spike decide to just get on with inspecting the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration instead. It's from this point forward that I'll probably just be summing up characters as much as commenting on the plot of the episode, since this is just a string of introductions. First up we have...


Twilight and Spike head over to Sweet Apple Acres for their first order of business, which is to check on the food for the banquet. The establishing shot for Sweet Apple Acres is pretty good looking, I have to admit. Anyone that still wants to shit on Flash animation at this point can go and fuck themselves. Seconds after arriving, Applejack shows up and kicks one of the apple trees, causing the fruit to fall into baskets below. Unimpressed, Twilight grudgingly introduces herself as politely as possible.

Applejack is friendly, dynamic, and has an obscenely huge family with conspicuous apple themed names. I actually like Applejack so far. So of course, Twilight goes out of her way to get away from the crowd of ponies that want to show her hospitality, staying solely because of the guilt she feels from everyone's disappointment. I really hope they explain the reason for all this misanthropy, because up to now? not digging Twilight Sparkle. She's kind of a bitch, really. 

"Nothing pisses me off more than free food and friends!" 
-Nobody ever, except Twilight Sparkle

Moving on from the torture that is delicious apples and baked goods, Spike and Twilight seek out the pony who's in charge of clearing the skies, who turns out to be...

Rainbow Dash

The first thing Twilight comments on is that Rainbow Dash hasn't done her job. Her next observation is on the bottom of a mud pool that she's been slammed into by the reckless flying antics of Rainbow Dash. Dash notes her mistake and cleans off Twilight by stomping on a rain cloud and drying her off like Superman trying to turn back time by spinning around really fast. This goes about as well as you'd expect.

"Bitch done messed up my weave!"

Spike and Dash laugh hysterically at this, and I think I've found a pony I dislike as much or more than Twilight Sparkle at this point. We then learn that Dash has been too busy practicing her flying in order to  join the Wonderbolts, who are basically the pony version of the Blue Angels. Twilight scoffs at this, saying that they wouldn't admit a Pegasus into their ranks that can't even keep the sky clear for a day. Rainbow Dash, incredulous at this statement, says she can clear the sky in ten seconds, then actually does it when challenged by Twilight. Twilight and Spike gawk in disbelief, and Dash says the look on her face is hilarious and that she can't wait to hang out more. This predictably unnerves Twilight Sparkle further.

Okay, I kinda like Rainbow Dash a little.

Moving on, it's time to check out the decorations, where we meet...


Twilight and Spike enter the reception hall, which has been expertly decorated with streamers and bows. Twilight admits this, but only in the context of how quickly the competency of the decorator will get her to the library (bitch). Spike, however, is stricken with something else entirely. We zoom in on a pony who's sorting through a bunch of ribbons, trying to find the perfect one. Rarity monologues to herself about how awesome she is until she notices Twilight's fucked up hair-do and immediately takes Twilight to her home to fix it.

I'm not even going to bother with a real caption. 

During the makeover/torture session, Twilight mentions that she's from Canterlot. Rarity is enthralled, saying that she and Twilight will be the best of friends in the hopes that she can tell her all about the glamour of the big city. When Rarity runs off to get yet another outfit, Twilight takes it as an opportunity to escape, taking the love-struck Spike with her.

Rarity is alright, if not a bit over-enthusiastic, but I can easily see her as being one of those characters that could go either way on the spectrum of endearing to annoying if played wrong. I guess we'll see what I think in the long run, won't we?

Next up, we have...


The last item on the list is music, and it seems to be done entirely with birds. This only makes me wonder if Equestrians prefer bird songs or if there were no creatures worth enslaving/domesticating that had opposable thumbs and musical talent. The pony responsible for the avian symphony is in the process of training her flock when Twilight and Spike come to introduce themselves. Twilight gives it a go, and with each attempt the yellow pony becomes so shy that her attempts to say her own name devolve into a high-pitched squeak.

Twilight gives up, and just as she's about to leave, the other pony notices Spike. Excited to see a baby dragon, the other pony enthusiastically introduces herself as Fluttershy. Fluttershy follows the pair and asks Spike eleventy-million questions about dragons all the way to the library, much to Twilight Sparkle's chagrin.

Fluttershy's not bad, but she better get some character development quick. The whole "I'm shy and interacting with strangers is awkward" thing could get old really fast. 

Okay, so that's it for character introductions! Twilight manages to shake off Fluttershy at the door, much to the annoyance of Spike. Inside is pitch black, and Twilight wastes no time stating her intent to begin studying when the lights come on and...

"One of us, one of us, gooble gobble, gooble gobble..."

It's a surprise party! It turns out that the whole thing was arranged by the pink pony from earlier in the episode...

Pinkie Pie

...and goddamn, she is annoying. Friendly and well-intentioned, but she clearly cannot shut the fuck up. There is literally nothing about her that I don't want to have lit on fire from the second she opens her motor-mouth. For once I feel like Twilight Sparkle's annoyed demeanor is entirely justified in this particular case. Anyway, Pinkie Pie blathers on about how she decided to throw this surprise party for Twilight, who has tuned her out even more than I have since she thoughtlessly poured herself a tall glass of hot sauce and took a drink.

"How much of this do I have to drink to make me forget that I've met these ponies?"

Twilight runs off to her room, mouth blazing in agony as the party rolls on without her. Spike tries to get her to come down and enjoy the celebrations, but Twilight resigns herself to sulk and stare at the moon, which looks not ominous at all. 

"That's one fucked up-ass moon."

Twilight says the specifics of the prophecy foretelling he return of Nightmare Moon to no one in particlar as Spike returns to announce that the sunrise ceremony with Princess Celestia is about to begin. They go out to the main hall and meet...ugh...Pinkie Pie, who still can't seem to silence her Pinkie Pie-hole. The mayor of Ponyville comes out to introduce Princess Celestia, but she's not there when the spotlight shines on the stage.

Rarity searches around, but finds no signs of the princess. As the panic begins to reach it's peak, A black alicorn appears on the stage! Rainbow Dash demands to know what has been done with the princess, flying straight at the black alicorn before Applejack holds her back. Pinkie Pie irritatingly attempts to guess her name and has her prattling gob stuffed with an apple by Applejack, who is officially my favorite character in this show, just for that.

...Thank you. Thank you, so goddamn much.

The black alicorn tries to get the other less annoying ponies to guess her identity, and only Twilight Sparkle seems to have bothered to read a history book, calling her out as Nightmare Moon. Pleased that someone remembered her, Nightmare Moon then asks if Twilight knows what she's planning, and Twilight can barely get the words out. Nightmare Moon then tells them to "remember this day, because the night...will last...FOREVER! MWAHAHAHA etc."


And that's the end of the episode!


Not that it was bad, it was perfectly serviceable if anything. But I did spend many hours writing this article and gathering screenshots, so it just seems so...much...longer than it actually was. Mind you all of that was after I already watched the episode straight through once with no interruptions. But yeah, it was a great introduction to Equestria and it's inhabitants, flawed though many of them may be. I do have to say that I'm glad this premiered as a full hour, because if I had just seen this one episode the first time around?

*changes channel, never watches again unless it's in the background when Adam does*

Which is basically what happened anyway, but I at least got 3 or 4 episodes in before that occurred. Fortunately for anyone that gives a shit about this blog, I'll be going far beyond that point.

tl;dr: "It was a'ight...for a start. Pinkie Pie sucks."

Okay, so that's it for my first post! stay tuned, leave comments, subscribe to the RSS feed, and tell your friends if you found this even vaguely amusing! I'll try to have the next one up in a week or so. Although they will likely be far, FAR shorter than this one, because I want these out on a semi-regular basis, and this one took forever.
See you next time when I'll be reviewing Friendship is Magic, part 2!

- Apathy Pony

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

The Obligatory Intro Post

My name is Ash, and I don't give one single nano-fuck about My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. That said, I will be reviewing the first 3 seasons of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic in their entirety. Confused?

...Yeah, I would be too.

You're probably wondering why I'd review a series that I have no investment in whatsoever. There are actually two very simple explanations:


These aren't in order of priority, by the way. But yeah, I needed a new laptop. The old one was, well...fuckin' old. It was an HP Mini-1000. It had 16 GB of storage space, 1 GB of ram, and a crap processor. It was slow to load even basic websites like TVTropes, the monitor hinge was broken on one side, and one of the speakers was busted.  And it was tiny, so doing any actual writing on it made my giant ogre hands cramp all the time. It was, by and large, a smoldering piece of shit. The best part was not having enough cash to replace it any time soon.

Enter Adam.

Adam, my best friend since high school, completely unaware of my technological plight, made me a proposal--He wanted me to watch and review every episode of MLP, just to see what would happen to my opinion of the show over time. To sweeten the deal, he offered to pay me per episode. At 65 episodes, that totaled out to be just enough to snag the laptop I'm currently writing this blog on. Needless to say, having been paid in advance, the first three seasons at minimum will be reviewed.

I Already Said I Would, And Kinda Wanted To

You may not be aware of it, but I do a podcast with Adam, originally titled Ash and Adam's Podcast! One of our earliest episodes was with a mutual friend named Ian, where the two of them discussed MLP and I kinda snarked about it. At about 29 minutes into the conversation though, I heard something that convinced me to give the show a second look.

So of course, I totally procrastinated and didn't do it. 

Days became weeks became months, and here I am nearly a year later, still not having re-watched MLP. When Adam made his proposal, the money definitely helped convince me to take on the assignment sooner, let's not bullshit ourselves here. Having established that, I have an ambition to become a professional writer. I have already been paid, making this my first real writing gig, and it's about something I'm already (somewhat) interested in doing on top of that! It's not a bad way to start things off, and if I can do this from start to finish, then I can surely do it again.

Oh, and one more thing. This is not a troll. Like I said in the beginning of this post, I don't give a shit about MLP, and that currently extends to the fanbase. I have no interest in saying shit just to rile up Bronies. What I say in this blog is going to be my own opinion, and if it ends up being controversial, then so be it. In the end, though, remember that's all it is.

So, with that all outta the way, It's time for some MLP reviews!