Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Apathy Pony's Completely Unsolicited 13th Episode Update Extravaganza!

holy shit i've reviewd 13 of these things

Hello Reader!

It's been a long road getting even to this point, but here we are! Thirteen episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic have been reviewed by I, Apathy Pony! And it doesn't matter in the goddamn slightest!


But for real, if you're reading this blog, then that's the reason I keep doing these. Well, that and not wanting to offer a refund. MLP was not exactly the easiest thing to devote time and energy to when both have been in short supply, but knowing that there's an audience out there makes the difference in a way few understand. 

The knowledge that my words are not being shouted in vain into the cold, ceaseless void that is The Internet is probably as much or more of a reward than any monetary compensation I've received. So if you've read this far, I want to sincerely thank you for doing so. I especially encourage you to give me feedback so I can improve the blog so it's even more entertaining to read-- I've gone through more than one format change over the last several months, and while I've found one I can stick to for the time being, I want the audience to get the most out of it.

Okay, enough of that sappy crap! I asked some of the readers to give me some questions about the blog, my views on the show, or the first thing that came to mind, apparently. And I will answer them all. Here we go!

Ian C. asked:

"Obvious question first.What is your opinion of the show/fandom at this stage in the process? Do you look more kindly upon it? Do you see where it stems from?"

My opinion of the show? It's mostly mediocre with a standout episode or two every now and then. This is the first season though, and I understand that it takes one, two, or even three in some cases for the show to find it's voice, so I don't hold that against it. MLP still isn't the kind of show I'd find myself watching voluntarily, but it also isn't so dreadful that it makes me want to gouge my eyes out. I'm still holding out hope that the show improves soon, but from what I've been told that won't happen until the tailend of this season at best.

As for the fandom? I only know four Bronies personally, and they're all lovely individuals, but those individuals do not a fandom make. In the early days of the show's run I got exposed to some rather disturbing things from the darkest corners fandom, but that doesn't make the MLP fandom unique in the slightest. Like any other show with a following, you'll have your level-headed fans and disturbing weirdos, and it's just a consequence of sharing a love of something with other humans.

TL;DR -- I think the fans are people that like MLP, some to weirder degrees than other, but they're mostly harmless and some are quite pleasant. As for why the show has a following...I don't have the slightest fucking clue. All the elements (YOU SEE WHAT I ACCIDENTALLY DID THERE?!) that might have interested me got jettisoned after the pilot. To each their own, I guess.

"Do you get any warmth from the show? Or is it just another cartoon to you?"

Just another cartoon, unfortunately. 

"At this stage, who is best Pony?"

Are you fucking kidding me? Applejack, clearly. And Applebloom is right behind her out of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, but they haven't had any follow up episodes yet so that's a tenuous position.

"Do you delight at the Derpy spotting?"

At first, yeah, though "delight" is a bit strong a word. I heard about all the drama surrounding how the character was handled after her first and seemingly only voiced appearance, so it was interesting to see that she was established as early as she was, but the novelty wore off after the first few times.

"Are you a Top or a Bottom?"

Versatile. Can't get fucked in the ass all the time, variety is the spice of life. 

Andrew S. Asked:

"Oh boy...question time :3 I'm wondering if he has (or is aware of) any brony friends. That and if there is any fan material he likes, or if so far he's only dealing with the show."
As stated earlier, I have a few brony friends, and they're great. :D Regarding the fan material...well. This may be me kicking a hornet's nest, but the only fan material I've seen is the animated version of the infamous "Cupcakes" fanfic on youtube. From what I know there's some context to it from some episode in the future, but I thought it was funny for the sheer fucked-upedness of it all. That's pretty much it though for fan works, I've just been watching the show.

Darrick H. asked:

"Would you willingly fight a bird the size of a horse?"

Why the fuck would I do that?! Well, wait, what kind of bird is it? I don't know. I guess?

Ed W. asked:

"Does apathy pony have Triskadekaphobia?" 

One of my favorite movie franchises is Friday the 13th, so no. Instead I have a healthy fear of fucking while black in a forest and getting impaled on a machete before I get to orgasm.

Caycee A. asked:
"Now that you have watched some of the episodes, do you find yourself with a higher opinion of the show than when you first started reviewing them? The same question, but about bronies?"

Truth told...not really. The good episodes were good, but not so good that it made watching the show something to look forward to. From what I knew of it, the show is living up to the expectations I had for it going in-- A'ight, nothing special. That could always change in the future, but for now my feelings on the show are a resounding "meh". 

My feelings on bronies are pretty much the same as when I started.

Adam Y. asked:

"Any headcanons so far?"

None that come to mind at this time. If I mentioned any before, I seem to have forgotten them. Mostly I just have the questions I asked in the reviews when something seemed odd or out of place. 

"Any other fandoms currently involved with or do you just tend to avoid them?"

I tend to avoid them. What I said about fandoms earlier is the reason I avoid them. As time goes on a show adds to the development of the plot, characters, and setting, which every fan has their own ideas about. Some fans are a little too emotionally invested in their show of choice, and others even moreso, and those opinions become dogma over time. 

Honestly, I'd rather just enjoy something on my own or discuss it with friends who are also watching, since I know I have a better chance of being civil with them about it than with a stranger. However, even I am not immune to the odd heated discussion every now and then.

"Does forcing yourself to write about something you have no vested interest in give you a new perspective you hadn't anticipated?" 

Sort of? It makes me pay attention to the details in order to find ANYTHING to grasp onto when watching the show, since I haven't been entirely entertained by it more often than not. Noticing weird shit or loose plot threads is something to do as a way of making me pay attention in the future to see if it gets followed up on later. 

"What minor character deserves their own background episode?" 

The Mayor of Ponyville. She doesn't even have a name yet as far as I know. She also tends to disappear for long stretches while Twilight Sparkle does her job, so I wonder what she gets up to, unless the writers really did just forget that she exists. 

"Who needs more development based on what you've seen?" 

Fluttershy and Rarity, FULL STOP. They're followed by Pinkie Pie, but those two need it the most. Fluttershy has only had one spotlight episode to herself, and Rarity had to share one with Applejack, so I'd give her the priority over any of them. 

"Any traits you would apply to specific characters that haven't/couldn't be explored on the show?" 

Nothing for specific characters, but maybe where the hell all these ponies parents are? People seem to have siblings, but no parents, except for Applejack who at least has Granny Smith. I'd also like to see the limits of what a unicorn's magic can do, because it seems to be really inconsistent. I guess if I'm going to get specific, I wonder what pushed Twilight Sparkle to be an overachiever. She pretty much popped up on the scene all smug and condescending, though she got better, but all the ponies could use a proper origin story. 

Well, that's it for questions that were submitted, but if you have any, be sure to post them in the comments section below and I'll respond ASAP! Well, as long as the question isn't too inappropriate or blatant trolling, in which case you can go and fuck yourself. :) 

See you next time for Suited for Success! (for real this time) -Apathy Pony

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

S01 E13: "Fall Weather Friends"

S01 E13: "Fall Weather Friends"

"Where the fuck was autumn, exactly? And the rest of winter, for that matter..."

Well, I guess this episode answers that particular question. Apparently this one was made earlier in the production phase, but got aired out of sequence-- not that it'll likely matter since this series barely has continuity. But I could be wrong! This seemingly nondescript episode could be the linchpin to the entire MLP mythos!


What I liked

  • The teaser opening wasn't particularly long, but it set up the episode really efficiently with the time it had, and I appreciated it. Especially since it didn't resort to out of place elements to establish some kind of mystery or end on a lame joke. Lookin' at you, Swarm of the Century and Winter Wrap Up.

  • Spike breaks the 4th wall while he does the "announcing". I'm pretty sure he has "Favorite Supporting Character" locked up. 

  • I had a 3 minute block of thinking about nothing but how Rainbow Dash shouldn't have been aerodynamic enough to speed through all those barrels...I really need to stop noticing these things.

  • That was total bullshit how Dash won the Long Jump event, she used her fucking wings! I would have hated this if shortly after Applejack hadn't called her out on this and the several other times she cheated. 

  • Okay, there's a moment near the end of the first act where Dash and AJ spit on their hooves and, uh, touch or something to symbolize sealing a deal. They look aggressive, but they briefly laugh during it, and I like that detail because it shows the competition is still friendly...for now. 

  • Aww, poor Spike got his announcer job taken away by Pinkie Pie! Although she is kind of better suited for it...and actually has a megaphone.

  • I like that Applejack literally ties Rainbow Dash's wings behind her back when she starts to brag. I'm not going to count this episode against Rainbow Dash since it was made before her improvement in the last episode. 

  • Woah, Twilight's gonna race? Wasn't expecting that, but now I expect her to win or for some random nobody to win so everyone can learn a lesson about being a good sport. 


  • Twilight is wearing a card with number 42 on it...nice. 

What I Hated

  • The episode starts off with Rainbow Dash and Applejack playing color-coordinated horseshoes, and it's established that Applejack is (allegedly) quite the athlete! It's nice to see any of these characters get a little depth beyond their niches in Ponyville, but I have to admit that I'd rather have had it go to Rarity or Fluttershy. Of the six, I'd go so far as to say that Applejack is the most developed so far, so any of the rest need some spotlight episodes, stat. 

  • Umm, whoa-- sharp-ass downturn on the background quality for the most part. Given the heights they've reached in the past, I can definitely see this being made earlier in the production run. 

  • "Why would you care about the race, it's only for ponies!" nice CASUAL RACISM there, Twilight.

  • I knew at some point things would just devolve into Wacky Races, but at least it happened relatively close to the end. 

  • Called it on the lesson of the week, *sigh*

Final Thoughts

Yeah, so this episode ended up warranting all that sarcasm in the intro section. Little in particular stood out besides Pinkie Pie's announcing, and the background quality took a sharp decline. Adam told me he barely remembers a lot of the first season, and if the bulk of the episodes are this mediocre then I can see why. Not much else to say, so that pretty much wraps things up for me.

See you next time for Suited for Success!

-Apathy Pony

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

Well, here we go, another review! These seem to be happening with a vague sense of regularity! Joy.

My benefactor Adam said he wasn't sure how I'd react to this one since "it depended on if I liked kid characters or not", which I am neither for or against...if they're written well. And don't have annoying voices. And aren't irritating Mary Sues. I haven't watched any of this episode yet. Here we go...

What I Liked

Okay, the teacher is explaining cutie marks, and her lesson's visual aides include a photo of her all 1980's and shit. It would have been really, REALLY funny if they had drawn her in Gen 1 style. 

 I like that Applebloom is smart enough to connect the dots that her family's trait might invoke her cutie mark. How is she smarter than Twilight Sparkle, HOW?!

Okay, tone it down, Applebloom-- you're treading into the obnoxious end of the spectrum. On the other hand, a male pony! I think that brings the total up to 7 or something so far if you count the Pegasusmons. 

The currency is "Bits"? Does this take place in the Toran Republic? 

Applejack is in full "Cool Big Sis" mode...still the favorite on this blog.

Another male pony! Holy shit, it's like the producers noticed the staggeringly disproportionate gender ratio in the show's supporting cast or something. 


Ponyville has a dojo? What the fuck are pony martial arts, exactl-- OMG THE "DEEP TAOIST SYMBOLISM" IS IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

Just what the fuck kind of cupcakes are these meant to be?

GODDAMN MUSICAL NUMBE-- Oh, fuck it, I'll let it slide, since it's meant to make Applebloom feel better, and thus justified in-universe. 

Applebloom is in fact terrible at making cupcakes. Heh. 

HA! Pinkie Pie looks like she's eating little piles of dried poo. 

dat face tho, 'cause them cupcakes is doo-doo

Pinkie Pie, did you REALLY just put frosting on them nasty ass cupcakes and sell them? I swear...


Okay, I don't know who these two are, but THANK GOD someone called that uppity-cunt out. 



Sweetie Bell,'re cool. Don't fuck it up. 

Cutie Mark Crusaders, eh? Not sure if I approve of this clubhouse mentality...the oppressed tend to become the oppressed.  On the other hand this is a show about silly-ass candy-colored ponies, so meh. 

What I Hated 

The realization that even though I don't know a single character's name in this opening shot besides Applebloom, I am certain a Google Image search of their names will be followed with "r34". That pan across cutie marks is a gif being fapped to someone RIGHT NOW. *shudders*

The teacher mentions that males and females get cutie marks, but WHERE ARE THE BOYS IN THIS CLASS?! 

I haven't even learned this bitch's name on the right yet, but I hate her. If she was in the pony version of Carrie she'd be firing tampons with a sling shot. She also proves that everyone in this universe with a tiara is kind of an asshole. Lookin' at you, Princess Troll-estia. 

I hope your Cute-ceaƱera ends with a one way trip to a glue factory. Take your silver-spoon marked lackey with you, you both suck. 

...Applebloom's friend Twist is going to get a peppermint stick or candy cane cutie mark before she does, isn't she?


Please God, let your smug ass get called out in the 3rd act in the most brutal way possible, you obnoxious little shit. 

The manes make me think they're males, but the eyelashes make me wonder if they're butch lesbian stereotypes...WHICH IS IT?!

Is it just me, or in an episode FULL of gorgeous backgrounds, this one in particular looks really, really shoddy?


Eww, this nasty-ass berry-booty hoe is drinking right out of the punch bowl. GROSS. 

Goddamnit Applejack...

Their names are Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara? CLEVER. *rolls eyes* And they couldn't have established this earlier? It's so much easier to curse someone when you know their name...I wonder if their cutie marks would change if they realized it was a sign proclaiming what a vorpal-twats they are.

So did Princess Celestia get a "True Rune" or something? I kind of want them to do more with this cutie mark thing, but they probably won't-- just look at the Elements of Harmony for God's sake. :/

Final Thoughts

This episode was, in my opinion, and get this-- actually good. GOOD! There were plenty of great character moments, gags, the song wasn't annoying as fuck, and the animation and (most) backgrounds looked damn fine. DAMN FINE! I pray that it is not flotsam and jetsam drifting atop a sea of mediocrity.

I especially liked that Rainbow Dash was shown being considerate, she needed that moment. I kinda wished Rarity had a segment since most of her latest development made her seem kind of stuck up, but since this whole "CMC" cutie mark thing appears to be an ongoing arc, she might show up in a later episode.

Please, please let Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon never come back.

See you next time for Fall Weather Friends!

-Apathy Pony