S01 E18: "The Show Stoppers"

S01 E18: "The Show Stoppers"

Reviews! MLP Reviews! Woo.

Closing in on the end of the season, and at this rate I might have it finished before the new year! Maybe. Possibly. I don't know. [Editor's note: lol, no]

ANYWAY

The Show Stoppers! Never heard anything about this one, no idea what to expect, and I'm hoping we get a 100% nitpick free episode. The quality, while rocky in various areas, remains largely acceptable (or at least enough to continue watching in the hopes of improvement).

Will this episode be the one to break the show's current streak of adequacy? We shall see...

Glorified Synopsis

00:07 THE CMC AGAIN?! Hnnn...let's hope they're better behaved than the last episode.

00:34 Just want to say the backgrounds are looking great, and we aren't even a minute in. Wonderful. Also, that is one busted-ass treehouse. How are the three of them even supposed to fit into that thing?

00:42 So this place was apparently Applejack's old clubhouse, and every attempt she makes to sell the CMC on taking it over is accompanied by parts of it collapsing and/or falling off. Good job giving a fixer-upper to some ponies that don't even have opposable thumbs or magikenesis, AJ. :|

00:58 "'TLC' as in 'Tender Loving Care' or Totally Lost Cause?'"

...Alright Scootaloo. You keep that snark coming and you may work your way back into my good graces after all.

01:13 So this is some ploy to get the CMC to fix up the clubhouse in the hopes of getting their cutie marks? Applejack, this is total bullshit. >_>

On the other hand, this intro set up the premise of the episode well enough, but I'm wondering how this scenario is going to lead into the title.

02:04 Oh, so Scootaloo has an artistic streak, I see! Cool! And I guess I see where the name comes from, what with the, ah, scooter and all.

02:20 Poor, poor Granny Smith. God, was that her name her entire life?

02:55 Clubhouse is actually renovated! Not bad for a trio of quadrupeds (mostly Applebloom) with no opposable thumbs.

03:13 Sounds like the CMC has a theme song...thank god Sweetie Bell is singing it to herself.

03:23 SHE CALLED IT A THEME SONG IN UNIVERSE HAHA

Oh, and this is feeling like the episode where at least one of them get their marks. I mean, come on, scooter tricks, super decorating skills and, um...humming? If they went out of their way to establish this, I'll be surprised if this whole CMC thing isn't resolved at the end for at least one of them.

04:02 I like that Applejack could barely contain her incredulity when she heard the words "theme song".

05:35 Okay, I like this montage, for two reasons:

A.) They did not make a fucking musical number out of it! "Show, don't tell" is one of the rules of storytelling which musicals shit on as a convention of the genre, and it should go without saying that I am irritated by that kind of thing when it happens. It's not happening here! I like that.

B.) The CMC are (reasonably) well behaved! After last episode's staggering obnoxiousness, the CMC seem to have been toned down considerably and it's much appreciated.

05:51 You let toddlers style your hair, you deserve what you get. Also, why do you sound like a baby when you cry, older pony? Weird.

06:10 THEY ARE DOING ZENER TESTS FOR ESP

WHAT

07:00 What is this tiny mountain? How is it? I don't

07:34 Spike is clearly not enamored of the CMC's "adorable" shenanigans, and he is now neck and neck with Opal for Favorite Supporting Character once again.

08:04 So it's their 3rd appearance and someone FINALLY told the CMC to try things they already like to find their special talent! And it's Twilight Sparkle of all ponies, the most inconsistently intelligent of them all. Good for her, she's been needing a moment like this for a while.

08:12 TITLE DROP

08:30 Rarity is SICK OF YOUR SHIT, SWEETIE BELL. Bless her.

09:34 The CMC just gathered up a bunch of shit and a book on ghost stories...Spike pretty much summed it up when he said he wasn't sure if he should be excited or ambivalent.

10:42 LET'S IGNORE OUR INNATE TALENTS AND ABILITIES AND ASSOCIATE THEM WITH STUPID BULLSHIT, SOME OF WHICH WE HAVE BEEN ESTABLISHED AS BEING TERRIBLE AT EVEN BEFORE THIS EPISODE

13:29 More of the above, and making it super obvious that the three of them should have switched jobs, with Applebloom on costumes and sets, Scootaloo on choreography, and Sweetie Bell producing the song. I have to remind myself of the target demographic for this show is on occasion, but it's still annoying when the show has to do things like this.

14:32 Applejack walks in on the CMC's train wreck of a routine and tries to back away slowly before they catch her...but slowly was the mistake. The CMC ask AJ what she thinks and she can barely verbalize how atrocious they are, bless her.

14:42 YAY, MORE UNWARRANTED CONFIDENCE

14:50 SNIPS AND SNAILS! And they're terrible at magic.

15:20 Pony applause is stamping their hooves? I'm pretty sure I saw them actually clapping at some point...oh well, whatever.

15:30 You can't see their entire costumes, as usual, but from what I can glean they are cosplaying as The Misfits from Jem or some shit like that.

15:40 HOW OFTEN ARE YOU GOING TO SAY "My little ponies!" TWILIGHT, IT STARTED OUT BEING REAL FUCKING GRATUITOUS AND THAT HAS ONLY INCREASED.

CUT IT THE FUCK OUT, please.

16:21 Well, let's get this shit over with...

16:44 Applejack looks humiliated, lol

17:14 you know...this isn't entirely terrible. The singing needs some work, but for three pre-teens or whatever the hell they are in pony years, this isn't really that bad, considering.

17:37 Spoke too soon...

18:43 AND NOW COMES THE SHAME

19:14 Are they going to win something? They're going to win aren't they...

19:40 If Snips and Snails didn't start that argument about who's award for best magic act was shinier, it could easily be taken out of context if you didn't know what they were talking about.

20:16 The CMC won best comedy act? Was that even a category? This was a pity award, wasn't it? Meh, whatever. After that kind of embarrassment, at least they won something.

20:32 NO CUTIE MARKS?! This...is BULLSHIT! I hope this arc is over soon, now that the inevitable conclusion has been telegraphed.

Oh, and Silver Spoon, Diamond Tiara, and Twist were also participants and THEY DIDN'T WIN SHIT! Good. Well, except Twist-- I heard the fandom despises her for some reason, but I'm personally indifferent to her.

21:33 The CMC have once again refused to glean anything from their experience and will now be pursuing comedy as a way of earning their cutie marks.

*sighs*

Final Thoughts

You know what? This episode, on the whole, is a'ight. Animation, backgrounds, character designs, dialogue, blahbity-blah. All fine. What's not fine? Taking plausible character development and kicking it square in the dick.

I'm not really feeling the CMC at this point. Honestly, their "precocious" enthusiasm and inability to learn from their experiences is not particularly endearing, and it's been an ongoing trait of theirs since their second appearance. I hope, for the sake of the characters, that this Cutie Mark quest gets wrapped up real soon, because I don't know how much more of this shit I can tolerate. Even if they stretch it out so that they get their marks one by one, FINE! Just get on with it already.

See you next time for A Dog and Pony Show! (seriously? they really went there)

- Apathy Pony

S01 E17: "Stare Master"

S01 E17: "Stare Master"

Sorry for the long delay! Holiday season and all'a that means I had to take a break. I had written this and 4 other blogs over the last few weeks, one of which...*shudder*

But we'll get to that in time. 

Alrighty! So, "Stare Master". Based on the title alone I have no idea what to expect, other than probably some insane facial expressions. Since the 13th episode, this series has taken a jarring turn towards higher quality, though not without some missteps along the way...can it continue to improve? I dunno, but I'm about to find out! Maybe it's an ensemble piece...

A Chronological Commentary On Stuff That Happened In The Episode

00:11 Okay lots of Rarity...and Sweetie Bell? Huh. Uh...

00:58 After some Rube Goldberg-ian shenannigans, Sweetie Bell has completely fucked up Rarity's studio after being told to sit her ass down. I would be annoyed by Sweetie Bell because of this, but Rainbow Dash pulls this shit every other episode and NOTHING HAPPENS TO HER. So you know what? Until Dash gets some much needed retribution, I'm letting this slide.

01:47 SWEETIE BELL AND RARITY ARE SISTERS AND THEY SHOULD HAVE ESTABLISHED THAT IN "CALL OF THE CUTIE". This would have surprised me, but I got spoiled about it. >_>

Wait, haven't Applejack and Rarity lived in Ponyville for YEARS? There's only one school in town, how could Applebloom and Sweetie Bell NOT have known each other already? You know what? Never mind. I'm going to stress myself out thinking about this and I still want to like Call of the Cutie. <_<

01:57 So Sweetie Bell is pulling Applebloom's schtick from Call of the Cutie and trying to assist Rarity with her projects in order to find her special gift and get her Cutie Mark. I hope they don't do this with What's-her-name too, this is already getting obnoxious. :|

02:11 Now that I think about it, what the fuck do sparkly jewels have to do with fashion design? I mean it's part of it when it comes to accessorizing, but shouldn't Rarity have a dress or some sewing needles or some shit on her ass instead of diamonds? *sigh*...great, I'm over-analyzing. Wonderful.

02:37 Opal is back, fresh from the groomers, and being a claw-wielding bitch. Love it.

02:47 So Fluttershy can do something called "The Stare"? Interesting...and ominous-sounding.

02:59 Sweetie Bell hears that dealing with animals is Fluttershy's special gift, walks up to Opal thinking maybe that could be hers...she'll be limping back, with scars, watch.

03:03 Okay, not scars, but Sweetie Bell got her 'do fucked up, which is probably just as bad as far as she or Rarity are concerned. And look at that sinister grin...Just go home Spike, Opal's got this shit.

03:56 Rarity expalins that she has a huge project due tonight that involves special silk...the CMC will fuck it up trying to help Sweetie Bell find her gift is my guess.

Speaking of, the other two members of the CMC show up as if on cue, Applebloom and, uh...her. You can tell who made an impression out of the three of them, huh?

04:00 SCOOTALOO! That's her name. I'll probably forget it again. Is she anyone's sister? The other two are, it'd be nice if she wasn't so that the three CMC members aren't virtually identical in backstory.

04:26 DAMN Y'ALL BITCHES IS LOUD, also Sweetie Bell made them all little capes with a CMC logo patched sewn to them, that's cute.

04:40 Sweetie Bell lined those capes with the special silk mentioned earlier, and Rarity looks heated. Oooh, you gon' get it now, Sweetie!

...Bell.

 

05:09 CMC SLEEPOVER IS CANCELLED. I'd feel bad for them, but Sweetie Bell went and fucked up the gold silk that she was present for when it was explained that it was hard to make and for a different, time-sensetive project, so you know what? NO SYMPATHY FOR SWEETIE BELL. Sorry you got dragged into her bullshit Applebloom and Scootaloo, now you get to help her work all night trying to replace the gold silk instead of doing whatever is officially fun at a sleepover.

Sorry 'bout it! (not sorry)

05:29 So Fluttershy has volunteered to step in and take care of the CMC for the night! How generous...and given the formula of this show, incredibly foolish, I'm assuming. On the other hand, it was nice to see my first presumption of the plot actually be entirely wrong.

05:38 "These sweet little angels?" is said and then the CMC get literal halos over their heads...this is going to end in tears.

05:46 Naw, for real tho', y'all is some LOUD ASS PONIES.

06:29 Fluttershy runs into Twilight Sparkle on her way back home with the CMC, and Twilight mentions that she's going to see Zecora to get some of her favorite tea. Glad Zecora got a mention at least, UNLIKE THE FRIGGIN' MAYOR OF PONYVILLE, WHO ISN'T EVEN NAMED AND DISAPPEARS FOR SEVERAL EPISODES AT A GODDAMN TIME.

*ahem*

Anyway.

06:48 In case you forgot how badly Fluttershy has possibly screwed herself, the CMC's halos come out one more time.

06:58 The CMC have been in Fluttershy's house for less than a minute and they are already putting their presumptuously sticky hooves all over everything and generally FUCKING SHIT UP. And look at Fluttershy-- nothing delicous, savory REGRET.

07:34 Fluttershy is trying to talk the CMC into doing something else other than stay up all night and break shit, and you can see on her face that she's watching her world collapse all around her. SUCH IS THE FOLLY OF THOSE DRIVEN BY HUBRIS

08:07 LOUD. ASS. PONIES. Also? They're kind of getting on my nerves...please stop that! I liked you before! I want to keep liking you! Please stop being annoying?

Please?

08:32 So Scootaloo and Applebloom have donned a blanket and basket helmet, and this has somehow caused them to get shrouded in shadows and GLOWING EYES. Is Fluttershy seeing this shit? No, seriously.

09:02 CMC finally broke some shit! Knew it. And Fluttershy, don't enable them, what the fuck?

09:12 Okay, the CMC decide to be carpenters and come back with doctor-type shit on...admittedly that got a chuckle out of me, but this shit is getting old real fast.

09:28 "Hammer! Hammer."

Okay, I chuckled again. Be amusing! it makes you less ANNOYING, CMC.

09:50 The little shits FINALLY calmed down, here's hoping it lasts a while. For Fluttershy's sake, if not mine. 

10:58 The CMC are in bed, tucked in, and Fluttershy is trying to sing them to sleep. Guessing they're going to fake sleeping and sneak out once she's gone, here goes...

Oh, and that is THE BRIGHTEST FUCKING CANDLE EVER, doesn't Ponyville have electricity somehow STOP STOP THINKING

11:19 HERE WE GO, MORE SINGING, but it has in-universe justification, so fine, whatever.

11:45 Alright, it's not the entire CMC, it's mostly just Sweetie Bell that gets on my nerves, and this musical number isn't helping her case. And it's not the song being in the show itse lf (for once), it's because she's singing this song all loud as FUCK, and giving Fluttershy a hard time.


11:57 THE LIGHTS CAME ON WITH AN AUDIBLE CLICK OF A LIGHTSWITCH and the CMC are on the loose trying to round up chickens. If ponies have uteruses in this world, then Fluttershy's probably has armed guards and boobie traps after this shit.

12:36 AND FLUTTERSHY HAS USED THE EPYONIMOUS STARE! Apparently she can give stink-eye so hard that it causes all who see it to submit to her will without hesitation. Nice.

I wonder how many of her animal friends really just live in fear of her. Except for that bunny, he doesn't seem to put up with her shit at all, lol

12:57 The CMC has learned of THE STARE, and dare not question Fluttershy when she puts them to bed this time, lest she be angered and invoke it's power with a furious wrath. I mean, after a dragon, who else is going to resist her?

14:06 I like that Fluttershy knows that it's "too quiet" and checks on the CMC. If she wasn't being so self-congratulatory about her child-rearing skills a little while ago, she may have caught them sneaking out, lol

14:30 Okay, seriously, they should have a way of contacting Zecora in case any of this stupid shit happens. Or make a locator spell, or SOMETHING. They really, really need to define how magic works, because I can instantly come up with ways to resolve the plot if they actually used it creatively.

15:10 Desention in the ranks of the CMC! I was wondering when the in-fighting would start.

15:37 Or...OR your special talent is being loud and obnoxious, and Rainbow Dash could probably get pointers from you three, which is saying something. And Sweetie Bell has become the most level-headed, which is weird, I always figured Applebloom for that role.

16:32 TWILIGHT GOT TURNED TO FUCKING STONE AND THE CMC ARE OUT THERE WITH A BASILISK OR A MEDUSA OR SOME SHIT HOLY FUCK

16:36 "Don't move, I'll be back for you!"

...lol

 

17:05 OR A COCKATRICE, I THOUGHT OF THAT BUT GODDAMN ARE THEY GETTING OBSCURE WITH THEIR MONSTERS AND I LOVE IT

17:31 You're all going to get turned to stone, and that's what you get for not listening to Fluttershy when she is in the middle of describing a living horror that can turn you to stone.

18:26 For the love of GAWD Fluttershy, break out THE STARE and calm these annoying brats down!


19:13 HOLY SHIT FLUTTERSHY STARED DOWN A FUCKING COCKATRICE (saw it coming) SHE IS SO BAD ASS AND NOW TIED WITH RARITY FOR BEST PONY.

19:25 TITLE DROP

  

19:42 "Dear Princess Celestia, today I learned that when a child gets out of line, I should threaten them with THE PAIN OF DEATH to make them behave."

20:25 Oh right, Rarity was doing stuff. Meh.

21:07 Way to rub your psychologically scarring child taming technique in Rarity's face, lol

Also, Rarity looked super pissed when the CMC wouldn't listen to her, haha

21:31 Oh, Opal, you are a bitch. ^_^

Final Thoughts

Good episode...mostly. I was afraid the CMC might get annoying, and boy did they ever push that limit. I hope they get their cutie marks in the next appearance they have, they're wearing out their welcome faster than I thought they would. The animation was decent, pretty backgrounds, and another monster! All good stuff. Keep it up, show! I am not backsliding into total indifference, and that can only be a good thing.

See you next time for The Show Stoppers? Uh...

- Apathy Pony

S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

S01 E12 - "Call of the Cutie"

Well, here we go, another review! These seem to be happening with a vague sense of regularity! Joy.

My benefactor Adam said he wasn't sure how I'd react to this one since "it depended on if I liked kid characters or not", which I am neither for or against...if they're written well. And don't have annoying voices. And aren't irritating Mary Sues. I haven't watched any of this episode yet. Here we go...

What I Liked

Okay, the teacher is explaining cutie marks, and her lesson's visual aides include a photo of her all 1980's and shit. It would have been really, REALLY funny if they had drawn her in Gen 1 style. 

 I like that Applebloom is smart enough to connect the dots that her family's trait might invoke her cutie mark. How is she smarter than Twilight Sparkle, HOW?!

Okay, tone it down, Applebloom-- you're treading into the obnoxious end of the spectrum. On the other hand, a male pony! I think that brings the total up to 7 or something so far if you count the Pegasusmons. 

The currency is "Bits"? Does this take place in the Toran Republic? 

Applejack is in full "Cool Big Sis" mode...still the favorite on this blog.

Another male pony! Holy shit, it's like the producers noticed the staggeringly disproportionate gender ratio in the show's supporting cast or something. 

RAINBOW DASH GIVING A SHIT ABOUT HOW SOMEONE ELSE FEELS WHAT SORCERY IS THIS

Ponyville has a dojo? What the fuck are pony martial arts, exactl-- OMG THE "DEEP TAOIST SYMBOLISM" IS IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

Just what the fuck kind of cupcakes are these meant to be?

GODDAMN MUSICAL NUMBE-- Oh, fuck it, I'll let it slide, since it's meant to make Applebloom feel better, and thus justified in-universe. 

Applebloom is in fact terrible at making cupcakes. Heh. 

HA! Pinkie Pie looks like she's eating little piles of dried poo. 

dat face tho, 'cause them cupcakes is doo-doo

Pinkie Pie, did you REALLY just put frosting on them nasty ass cupcakes and sell them? I swear...

IT'S SNAILS! CONTINUITY! BLESS THIS EPISODE!

Okay, I don't know who these two are, but THANK GOD someone called that uppity-cunt out. 

LAUGH AT THEM, EVERYONE! LAUGH

 

Sweetie Bell, Scootaloo...you're cool. Don't fuck it up. 

Cutie Mark Crusaders, eh? Not sure if I approve of this clubhouse mentality...the oppressed tend to become the oppressed.  On the other hand this is a show about silly-ass candy-colored ponies, so meh. 

What I Hated 

The realization that even though I don't know a single character's name in this opening shot besides Applebloom, I am certain a Google Image search of their names will be followed with "r34". That pan across cutie marks is a gif being fapped to someone RIGHT NOW. *shudders*

The teacher mentions that males and females get cutie marks, but WHERE ARE THE BOYS IN THIS CLASS?! 

I haven't even learned this bitch's name on the right yet, but I hate her. If she was in the pony version of Carrie she'd be firing tampons with a sling shot. She also proves that everyone in this universe with a tiara is kind of an asshole. Lookin' at you, Princess Troll-estia. 

I hope your Cute-ceañera ends with a one way trip to a glue factory. Take your silver-spoon marked lackey with you, you both suck. 

...Applebloom's friend Twist is going to get a peppermint stick or candy cane cutie mark before she does, isn't she?

FUCKING CALLED IT SON OF A MOTHERFUCKING BITCH

Please God, let your smug ass get called out in the 3rd act in the most brutal way possible, you obnoxious little shit. 

The manes make me think they're males, but the eyelashes make me wonder if they're butch lesbian stereotypes...WHICH IS IT?!

Is it just me, or in an episode FULL of gorgeous backgrounds, this one in particular looks really, really shoddy?

HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET TO THE PARTY YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO WHAT A CRAP TRANSITION--wait, okay, so it's in the bakery? HOW DID SHE NOT NOTICE HER BIG-ASS MESS GETTING CLEANED UP AND DECORATIONS BEING STREWN ABOUT YOU HAD PLENTY OF TIME TO LEAVE FUUUUUUUUUUUU

Eww, this nasty-ass berry-booty hoe is drinking right out of the punch bowl. GROSS. 

Goddamnit Applejack...

Their names are Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara? CLEVER. *rolls eyes* And they couldn't have established this earlier? It's so much easier to curse someone when you know their name...I wonder if their cutie marks would change if they realized it was a sign proclaiming what a vorpal-twats they are.

So did Princess Celestia get a "True Rune" or something? I kind of want them to do more with this cutie mark thing, but they probably won't-- just look at the Elements of Harmony for God's sake. :/

Final Thoughts

This episode was, in my opinion, and get this-- actually good. GOOD! There were plenty of great character moments, gags, the song wasn't annoying as fuck, and the animation and (most) backgrounds looked damn fine. DAMN FINE! I pray that it is not flotsam and jetsam drifting atop a sea of mediocrity.

I especially liked that Rainbow Dash was shown being considerate, she needed that moment. I kinda wished Rarity had a segment since most of her latest development made her seem kind of stuck up, but since this whole "CMC" cutie mark thing appears to be an ongoing arc, she might show up in a later episode.

Please, please let Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon never come back.

See you next time for Fall Weather Friends!

-Apathy Pony